Thursday, October 14, 2010

Reaching 23...

Hi everyone ^-^

I didn’t write in this blog for a long time, part of it was because I am busy in masters. Japanese study, a beginning of a new life in Japan, but the major reason for not writing is because I somehow feel homesick and kinda ve been confused in certain aspects of my life.

In a day where I should celebrate and feel happy, a day that is for most considered special, it was one of the hardest days of my life, it was my 23th birthday.

I spent it alone , far away from home, I tried to make it special , went to a restaurant alone and ate desert afterwards , but at the end of the day when I came back to my empty room , I felt sad, alone and the tears flew easily from my eyes , deep sadness is what I felt.

at the age of 23 , my emotions and feeling were mixed, I was saying to myself "ok, I m 23, so I should grow up and stop crying and being so sensitive and dependent on people " , yet this day was really sad for me because I spent it crying and missing friends and people that I care about T-T

On the other hand I started thinking of the things that I am certain of in my life and things that I thank god for having:

1- I know who are my best friends , I can actually count them unlike before when I had a huge list of people I called friends
(fafy chan, arap chan , waddo chan , amabat chan , rawan chan , bayan chan , mota..and others ^-^ )

Thank you all for being there for me , I will never forget whenever I feel bad and need to cry I find bayan chan listening to me in times she needed someone to listen to her.

Thank you rawan chan and 3os for remembering me always in work and how you remember me every time you go out without me T-T

Thank you fafy bloom and arap chan , you are planning to come to Japan , I can’t wait to have you here with me ^-^

Thank you amabat chan , you made my stay in Japan easier and you care about me like a sister, I love you so much , when I am with you I feel like I am in home ^-^

waddo chan , my sister who I consider the biggest blessing and gift from god , no way a younger sister can love her neechan like my sis do < I am 100%>

Thank you all my friends and more...

2-I achieved half my dreams which is coming to Japan for masters and study what I like the most "Human security and communication"

I know it’s hard and I feel like in micheal buble song "I wanna go home" but I know I am blessed and that I am lucky and that this is an opportunity of a life time , Thank you god for making my dream coming true.

3-I realized that I wanna marry someone I love and start a family with the one I love and this is my dream right now and I hope that allah will fulfill my dreams because this is the ultimate dream of my life and any girls life I guess ^-^

anyway .......

reaching 23th is so confusing for me , so now what!!!!! I should behave more like an adult , because all the people who knows me , know that I act childish sometimes and ask for attention, but should I change that , is this what determines if I am a grown up or not???

All of these things went in my head in the 23th birthday, it was a day full of emotions, bad, sad and grateful ones, but at the end my birthday passed and it was a day like all other days.

I wonder what the future hides for me , again this is something I don’t wanna think of , but as long as I am alive and my brain continue to work >-> nothing can’t be done about that T-T

Anyway long post, sorry, see you next post

Rawan & 3os did this cards for me , love you guys ^-^


Shun said...

Happy late birthday, Rua-san!



rua said...

shun san ohisashiburi desu ne ^-^

hai ganbarimasu, hontou ni arigatou gozaimashita ^-^


EvaLuna said...

Rua-san Happy Birthday ...

This post is amazing and courageous .. few people are strong enough to say things as frankly as you say them , so I guess you have accomplished much and enshalla you will accomplish anything that comes to your mind.

MAy God be on your side at all times

rua said...

Thank you Evaluna , I always check your blog by the way and its really nice ^_^